Love, and the Aikidoka

Stepping onto the mat,

coolness beneath my feet and sudden intense awareness over

every inch of my body.

Where it is, where it should be.

I breathe deeply; clear my head of what the day has set forth

or what the night will deliver.
Bow.

The first partnering,

toes on the line, six feet apart.

The rush I feel as he comes at me like fever, and I turn.

Unfaltering his energy follows, unwavering his energy drops him.

I think: do anything yo uwant to me,

feet on the ground, mind your balance, your center. 

Kamae.

The afterglow,

aching and heart pounding, muscles never aware of, sore.

My weary body at breaking point, a moment more unbearable. 

It passionately perseveres.

I look around the room: a family cloaked in black and white

and my heart as full as the moon.

Yamea.

-JWilliams 2009

Kihon Dosa Renzoku

Thursday I had two guilty pleasures: lifting at the gym for an hour, mid-day, while my parents watched the Little Man, AND training last night while the husband got some QT with our boy.
I'm so spoiled.
Class in review: an hour dedicated to Kihon dosa to kanren waza. Awesome.
These are the classes where we get to break the basic movements and applied techniques down into the finer details. (AND get a great workout if you're partnered with someone who will give that to you-which I thankfully was.)

The importance of basic movements cannot be emphasized enough, at least with the Yoshinkan style which I train in. Training your body to become strong, developing muscle memory for the movements, will lead to strong technique execution.
Here is a brief clip of Kihon Dosa by the Senshusei of the Hombu dojo:



Ok onto the review (this might be more for my journal/notebook and not so much leisure reading, I apologize if you were looking for an entry not so technical)..

Basic movements and related techniques.
1. Cross Step In Body Change #1:

• Keep hand on line and ENTER-will make uke very off balance in the backward direction. Don't go off the line/towards uke's side or uke won't be off balance.

2. 95 Degree Pivot:

• Don't break the connection between your wrist and uke's-maintain it by using stance hand to enter slightly on pivot. 
• For technique, palm up initially then palm down.
• Be sure uke's arm doesn't have elbow joint pointed towards you or control isn't obtained.

 3. Elbow Power #1:

• Note where "breakoff point" is for uke, depending on their height, there is an optimal point prior to losing the connection with uke arm.
• For the basic movement, pass the breaking point and still raise hands to correct level-forehead height.
• For technique, no need to raise as high, but be sure uke is off balance away from you, towards where you're throwing

4. Elbow Power #2:

• Don't pull uke as you body change on the basic movement.
• First drop your hand, uke will naturally follow you down and then body change, uke's body will "fall" in your direction.
• On technique, when shuffling in, be sure to line yourself up with uke's back foot, then apply second control.
• Don't make uke's head arc outward when you pivot. Keep arc small and contained. 
• 180 degree pivot and then body change (not 95 degree pivot as many people are doing.)

5. After Class Exercise #1 and #2:

• As uke, trust where shite's hand will be as you pivot around during the basic movement, it will be directly above your head. 
• Remember to do a big kick-step out or as shite cuts down, you won't have gone far enough for shite to do the basic movement.

Bottom line:  you don't want to interfere with your partner's ability to do the basic movement. 

I realized how much I truly love classes dedicated to the foundation of our style such as an hour straight of kihon dosa and then followed by the related techniques. Often times we get hung up with being excited for what technique we'll learn in class that day, but truthfully, when we drill the basic movements is when I find the most happiness on the mat. Sure flipping and throwing is fun, but feeling your leg muscles burn after holding kamae for 10 minutes can be fun too. I mean you're participating in something that is the foundation of what you love. Something that has been drilled for many, many years. Something the "masters" have instilled and continue to teach the importance of. You get to feel connected, literally and figuratively, to something that is the backbone of it all. So get out there and get your legs burning! Drill it. Do it.
Osu!

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days..

Monday night's class in review...

Techniques:

• Ryotemochi nikkajo osae ichi 
• Suigetsu tsuki sokumen irimi nage (enter! slightly off center line, raise elbow immediately to catch uke's chin!)

Self-reflecting feedback.... 

where oh where have my ab muscles gone,

oh where oh where could they be..

Keep at the breakfalls, girl.. like riding a bike, it'll come back... 

 persistence, patience, determination.

Being in the Moment.

Saturday morning was lovely.. a walk around our beautiful park with my husband, 2 Labrador Retrievers and my dear son, the Little Man, in his stroller. When we arrive home, I lovingly say to my husband (in that sweet, maybe you'll get a piece later if you agree to what I'm about to propose voice) that I'd like to train this morning. He says "okay" (who knows if it was the voice or the fact he had work he needed to do and probably wanted to be undisturbed for a few hours.)

I joyously run out the door with my bag and buki and race off to the dojo. I sure hope Little Man ate enough to tie him over until I get home. Should I have tried to feed him again before I left- a 4th time before the sun is a 1/4 of the way into the morning sky? I think he only ate half a feeding that last time, there's no way he's going to make it to the next feeding. Did I leave a bottle in the fridge? Am I being selfish right now? Holyshita woman, just relax and go enjoy class for God's sake.

I change as quickly as possible into MY dogi- still relishing in the fact that I can wear it again- grab my buki and run off to bow onto the mat. It is quite quickly apparent that I do not recognize a good 1/4 of the student's on the mat. Have I been gone THAT long?? As class is beginning and we bow in and do basic warm ups, I realized today's class will be taught by Kancho (カンチョー) instead of the usual Saturday morning Sensei who is working with all the new students. This is nice because it takes a typical Beginner/ Saturday morning class and splits it up into two categories of students: a) those who can do a breakfall and b) those who are walking around with the deer in the headlights look on their faces.

We, the a) group, then proceed to learning 3 variations of shihonage: a basic with pin, a more advanced variation with pin (skipping a cross step and doing a forward pivot into the control) and then the throw (with a cross step back, one knee down.) In review: my wrists hurt. I had a great partner but basically my wrists haven't been held in that unnatural position for as long as my core hasn't held the typical uke body posture for the shihonage pin. I relaxed and let my joints give a bit more, let my stomach tighten a bit more. During the throw, I avoided the hiyaku ukemi and just did a zempo kaiten ukemi ni. Being a person that loves hiyaku ukemi and despite desperately wanting to be thrown again, I figured, let's not push this. I wonder if Little Man is hungry, hope he's not crying. Good grief! Focus woman! Be in the moment; your boy is fine.

It was a good class, and I left tired and sweaty- always a great feeling. I did rush home though, anxious to see how my boy was doing, and realizing that despite being in the moment, in the back of my mind I missed him the whole time. What a crazy dichotomy new motherhood is. One part of you is aching to "cut the cord" and get out of the house, alone, where you can quickly run in and out of stores, not have to look for drive-thru's for coffee etc. Then the other part of you is missing the hell out of that little person.
So maybe I found another little self-lesson I'd like to learn during these new days back on the mat: simply being in the moment. I think there is a lot that can be gained- focus, strength, peace- when you completely let go and be where you are, when you are. And I think this lesson would do me good, both as an aikidoka, and as a new mommy.
Let's give it a try, shall we?

The Morning After

For those of you who don't know, I had a brief (3 month) hiatus from the mat, otherwise known as pregnancy. I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy June 10th and was fortunate enough to train up until I was 8 months pregnant (although modified training: no hardcore breakfalls) when I was nicely kicked off the mat by not being allowed to pay my monthly dues. Which was probably a good thing so as to avoid having my water break on the mat, a definite possibility with how long I planned to train. So last night was my return- return to putting on my own dogi (my husband's wasn't nearly as flattering as mine), return of the excitement/stomach butterfly feeling when stepping onto the mat, return of being able to bow down to my elbows without my rear reaching for the stars.

What a great feeling. Warmups: hiriki no yosei ichi,  fumikomi taihenko ichi and hyakuhachijudo kaiten, then a few koho ukemi. Followed by kumi hyakuhachijudo kaiten and two techniques. I was nervous about the ukemi, as the week before- when I truly first stepped back onto the mat- I could not do a sit up, could not pull myself up from any breakfalls and after a night practicing kaitennage with one of our dojo's most highly ranked dan females, I could not stand upright for 2 days. Probably not considered "easing back into things post c-section" girl. Then last night I got the pleasure of working with a great guy, who was making a return to the mat as well after his own hiatus (he wasn't pregnant, he was frequently traveling for work.) He is the son of, for lack of a better term, an ass-kickin' Italian street fighter (also an aikidoka) who loves to tell you how it 'would be done on the street' whenever you partner with him. A great family and needless to say, quite awesome to train with, as they train with everyone equally. So my welcome back has been with some amazing training partners. And by amazing I mean slightly intimidating.. please don't let my intense determination lead to accidental seppuku tonight.

I will say my breakfalls are still not pretty but they are an improvement over the ugliness that the mat was wiped with the week before (who needs mat mops when we can just use Aiki-J?!)

Ok, I did have to rest occasionally but I did them....baby steps. No pun.

I was worried today, the morning after, would leave me with the I got ran over by the aikido bus feeling. You all know that feeling, or maybe you can't remember it because it was so long ago. In case, I'll remind you: It's the feeling you had the days following your early training days. Maybe when your unbleached, stiff as a potato sack dogi and sock-clad feet made you stand out a bit on the mat, despite thinking no one would notice you (ahem.) I'm so blending in with the others..why is no one wearing socks in January when it feels like there's no heat in here? Your neck muscles aching from bracing for throws/falls, your butt and legs burning when simply trying to walk up the steps, and let's not discuss attempting to look at someone or something at your side without having to turn your whole body towards them to do so. Oddly though, I feel great today. Despite the usual interrupted sleep night (see feeding at 1:45am and 4:30am), and the cold plaguing my household this week, I jumped out of bed this morning feeling wonderful. Dare I say.. morning after bliss..??

So I throw the question out there for you all to think about...Is aikido that drug that serves as your escape, your 'me time', your "I hope I'm sore tomorrow so I can be reminded of how great class was the night before", your dealer off the good stuff, yo..your provider for morning after..bliss? What does aikido training do for you? And if you were off the mat for an extended period of time, what was it like returning? Were you intimidated?  Nervous? Did you feel disconnected with yourself? Or on the flip side, did you feel as I did last night..as if you were coming back home to an old friend?

Goal for the end of the summer: fit back into my own obi, with extra room to spare. Better lay off of the late night ice cream.

Also of note: Aiki-J isn't always, and won't always be, so damn wordy.  Promised.

One of two...

I thought what better way to start this "Women In Aikido" blog than an inaugural post dedicated to Takako Kunigoshi. For those of you who do not know, Kunigoshi Sensei was one of the first known female aikidoka, training under Ueshiba Sensei (O'Sensei) at the Kobukan Dojo (Hombu Dojo),  in the early 1930's when "Aikido" was known as "Daito Ryu." She often spoke of being only one of two women on the mat in those days. She spoke of O'Sensei not "changing techniques because she was a woman" and she provided interesting insight into training during the prewar era in Japan.

A few years ago when I started training, my 'minority status' on the mat (there are only a handful of women who train in my dojo, and of them only a select few who train regularly) led me to do a bit of research on the history of women in aikido-women bowing onto the mat, to train in the style I had so quickly grown to love. Of course there had to be a whole legacy of Japanese women, paving the way for the female aikidoka, in an art so graceful and beautiful, that women would naturally be drawn to it. Right? I quickly learned how wrong I was. Ok, maybe a slew of us didn't exist, but how about a handful? A couple? ONE?!!

During such said research I stumbled across Kuniogshi Sensei, standing out amongst the dogi-clad men and taking ukemi like the rest of 'em. She often spoke about how it was difficult to describe what you learned in training, that often times, you just tried to copy the teacher(s), and "do as you were told", but that she had a hard time remembering the techniques once she left the dojo. So she began drawing the techniques in hopes of understanding what she learned. She would have fellow aikidoka pose for the rough sketches and then go home and in order to finish the drawings, recreate the techniques while watching in a mirror. If only YouTube existed back then! All I can say is, thank Buddha, Allah and Oprah that my training doesn't rely on my ability to draw what I learned in class that day! I'd be trying to decipher shihonagi through damn stick figures.

Although many women such as Kuniogshi Sensei aren't in the aikido history books, she surely stands out for demonstrating that gender mattered little once you bowed onto the mat. I think there is something in her core that all female aikido share. She occupies a special place in the early years of the art due to her dedication and artistic talents. And although she probably didn't have her own locker room, or a hakama tailored to a 'woman's hip,' I'd be willing to bet she was happy as is..and might even be a follower of my blog. :)

Takako Kunigohi