For those of you who don't know, I had a brief (3 month) hiatus from the mat, otherwise known as pregnancy. I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy June 10th and was fortunate enough to train up until I was 8 months pregnant (although modified training: no hardcore breakfalls) when I was nicely kicked off the mat by not being allowed to pay my monthly dues. Which was probably a good thing so as to avoid having my water break on the mat, a definite possibility with how long I planned to train. So last night was my return- return to putting on my own dogi (my husband's wasn't nearly as flattering as mine), return of the excitement/stomach butterfly feeling when stepping onto the mat, return of being able to bow down to my elbows without my rear reaching for the stars.
What a great feeling. Warmups: hiriki no yosei ichi, fumikomi taihenko ichi and hyakuhachijudo kaiten, then a few koho ukemi. Followed by kumi hyakuhachijudo kaiten and two techniques. I was nervous about the ukemi, as the week before- when I truly first stepped back onto the mat- I could not do a sit up, could not pull myself up from any breakfalls and after a night practicing kaitennage with one of our dojo's most highly ranked dan females, I could not stand upright for 2 days. Probably not considered "easing back into things post c-section" girl. Then last night I got the pleasure of working with a great guy, who was making a return to the mat as well after his own hiatus (he wasn't pregnant, he was frequently traveling for work.) He is the son of, for lack of a better term, an ass-kickin' Italian street fighter (also an aikidoka) who loves to tell you how it 'would be done on the street' whenever you partner with him. A great family and needless to say, quite awesome to train with, as they train with everyone equally. So my welcome back has been with some amazing training partners. And by amazing I mean slightly intimidating.. please don't let my intense determination lead to accidental seppuku tonight.
I will say my breakfalls are still not pretty but they are an improvement over the ugliness that the mat was wiped with the week before (who needs mat mops when we can just use Aiki-J?!)
Ok, I did have to rest occasionally but I did them....baby steps. No pun.
I was worried today, the morning after, would leave me with the I got ran over by the aikido bus feeling. You all know that feeling, or maybe you can't remember it because it was so long ago. In case, I'll remind you: It's the feeling you had the days following your early training days. Maybe when your unbleached, stiff as a potato sack dogi and sock-clad feet made you stand out a bit on the mat, despite thinking no one would notice you (ahem.) I'm so blending in with the others..why is no one wearing socks in January when it feels like there's no heat in here? Your neck muscles aching from bracing for throws/falls, your butt and legs burning when simply trying to walk up the steps, and let's not discuss attempting to look at someone or something at your side without having to turn your whole body towards them to do so. Oddly though, I feel great today. Despite the usual interrupted sleep night (see feeding at 1:45am and 4:30am), and the cold plaguing my household this week, I jumped out of bed this morning feeling wonderful. Dare I say.. morning after bliss..??
So I throw the question out there for you all to think about...Is aikido that drug that serves as your escape, your 'me time', your "I hope I'm sore tomorrow so I can be reminded of how great class was the night before", your dealer off the good stuff, yo..your provider for morning after..bliss? What does aikido training do for you? And if you were off the mat for an extended period of time, what was it like returning? Were you intimidated? Nervous? Did you feel disconnected with yourself? Or on the flip side, did you feel as I did last night..as if you were coming back home to an old friend?
Goal for the end of the summer: fit back into my own obi, with extra room to spare. Better lay off of the late night ice cream.
Also of note: Aiki-J isn't always, and won't always be, so damn wordy. Promised.
Welcome back to the mat!
ReplyDeleteI have injured myself several times and gone on extended travels hindering my training during my affair with aikido over the years. As of now, it has been many months since I was on the mat, though I know I will return once we settle down for a bit - still traveling at the moment. Every time I bow onto a mat after an extended leave I have that same nervous and excited 'this-is-gonna-hurt-tomorrow' feeling! I think the part of me who likes aikido is quite the masochist... lol
Anyway, thanks for the post and the blog. I was posting my aikido adventures on my blog for a bit too, though now it is mostly a travel blog. You can see it at http://sailingserenity.com
All the best!
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the post and checking out my blog! I just looked at yours, first congrats on yonkyu! That's great and I enjoyed looking at your test pictures. Also, small world, but I saw your martial arts jewelry on there and I remember coming across the aikido necklaces maybe a year or so ago--possibly on Etsy? I really like them! Your jewelry is really beautiful.
I was perusing your ship's log and totally awe-struck by your travels! How does one get to travel/sail all over as you have been doing?
In your travels do you get to visit local dojos and train there? That would be great, new faces, partners and teachers all the time! It would be combining two of my loves: training and traveling.
Anyway, I'll definitely check in with your travels as I always enjoy hearing about new places and adventures. Happy sailing and training.
I had also stumbled upon your jewelry before and thought it was beautiful. What a family!
ReplyDeleteAikido has helped me to focus and been a lot of different things for me in the first year. It started out as an intimidating TU class, then intimidating dojo, and now a second home (literally). I don't mean to say that the people were intimidating, but I was never one for kinesthetic learning. I have grown in my own confidence in just a year of training and really enjoy working with different people. It's been a humbling experience to train with so many different and knowledgeable partners.
Aikido has become a source of strength, focus, friendship, and constancy in my life. I think especially in my first year of teaching, aikido will act as an outlet. Aikido has helped me through some difficult times (my past two kyu tests have coincided with traumatic events). The dojo was, especially then, a place to refocus and center myself.
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, you weren't the only one to feel intimidated when first stepping onto the mat. Although the movements of aikido are graceful, they are far from natural (in my opinion.) They require continual practice in order to develop muscle memory and finding your center in order to feel balanced. Feeling so 'off' physically definitely affects your ability to..blend in. No pun. :)
I agree, it is very humbling and rewarding to work with so many different partners-and our dojo provides such a varying degree of aikidoka, simply in their own regard. We are all learning the same style, under the same teachers and seniors, yet everyone brings Their Own Aikido to the mat. Hmm.. I see a future post topic emerging. ;)
Glad aikido is providing you with so much rewarding feedback. You're surely a wonderful addition to the dojo family. Keep at it, girl!